Saturday, April 17, 2010

Healed From Hate









Barbara Kouba had the perfect life as a young girl. She loved life and was in total love with creation itself. She went to a Catholic School, and even though one year she found herself in the principal's office way too often, she still considered herself to be a good girl, who just liked to peer over the other side of the line every once in a while. Most of all, Barbara was a very happy person who loved God dearly... until a walk she took within four walls, would not only change her outlook on life, but also her relationship with God.


At 18 years old, Barbara noticed she started getting abnormal bruising- if she sat down too hard, she would bruise the whole top part of her back, she'd notice bruises pop up all over her, and didn't know when or how she got them. It turned out she had a blood disorder, and so she was admitted to a huge research hospital. She was so sick at the beginning, that she never left her room, it wasn't until she started getting better, that she was strong enough to take the first walk outside of her room- this is the walk that would change her life forever.


Barbara was in the children's ward, where they housed patients from newborn to 19 years old. The walk around her end of the ward, was about a block wide. As she walked down the hall, this young woman who dearly loves kids, and wanted about 12 kids of her own, did not hear the normal laughter and play of children- instead she heard their screams, cries and the horrid stories that went along with them. Newborns with tiny bodies, and heads as big as a basketball, or only as big as a lightbulb, a little girl they called the bionic girl, because she drank a bottle of drano, which ate up her insides; every kind of horror story imaginable, Barbara heard and seen. Her heart broke into pieces on that one walk- her security walls came crumbling down, and Barbara crumbled with them.


Barbara closed the door on God. She couldn't understand how or why she was getting better, when so many other innocent children suffered and died. She began to hate God and called him a sadistic monster. She questioned, "Why God?" as so many of us have done. Because of this she sank into a deep depression with over-flowing anger. She found herself lashing out at everyone- she didn't understand how nothing had changed, when everything seemed to change within her. Barbara couldn't understand why she was alive, she didn't understand her deep, seething anger. As her anger grew, so did her mental problems. She had a complete mental and spiritual breakdown, and was admitted to a mental hospital. There she stayed heavily medicated, sinking deeper into her hate-filled void. They treated her with insulin shock treatments, shock treatments, medicated several times a day- she felt like she was a walking zombie.


One day she went into a quiet room- basically a padded room. She sat in a corner, totally over-whelmed, when she heard a voice, "I love you. I am proud of you." She looked around, this was not a thought that came from her, she still hated herself. The words were repeated- and she knew these were words coming from God. He told her there was much for her to learn, that she needed to open her heart and let him back in, that he would no longer let her lock him out. There she sat having an internal conversation with God. He told her she had had enough suffering, it was time for it to end. She questioned God, "Why does my suffering have to end? The babies are still suffering." Again, God repeated she had much to learn, and that he loved her. All of a sudden all of the anguish and anger she had held in for so long, came pouring out, like a flood. She cried and cried. Still asking why, she told God that she still didn't understand and still couldn't love him. He answered, "That's okay. I'm a big God. I can take it. Anger can be turned into love." She said that it was a long process, there was no over-night healing. But God told her that everyday he would give her a gift, which will help her grow and learn. (Please see the video here: http://www.wordnet.tv/videos.htm It's the one at top, entitled 'Healed From Hate')

Barbara is now going on 54 years old, and she said she indeed has been given a gift from God, every single day. Every morning when Barbara wakes up, she says, "Okay God, what's going to be my gift today?"

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Being an Artisan Store Owner

Come with me as I look into being a crafting addict. Do you believe you can relate? Most whom own their own artisan stores, can definitely do so- and I actually believe you almost have to be. Many people do not realize the work that goes into running an online business... not that I'm complaining, I absolutely love it- most of the time ;). But if you don't love creating new pieces, then online artisan stores, is not for you. You need to be able to list new items to keep your listings fresh in search engines, but mostly to keep your customers coming back, as well as bringing new customers in. I try to have a wide arrange of styles - though, I guess I can only design a limited degree of styles and fashion, I try to offer as wide of a range as I'm able. (And the more experience I get, the wider the range spreads).

I have four main stores, plus list my items on other places. I try to visit many of the social networks, and while I am getting better at utilizing them, I'm not doing so to their full extent. However, I don't believe in spamming in any sense of the word, but I do believe you have to be able to spread the name of your stores, or you will never do any business.

I create jewelry, greeting cards, note cards, photography, mixed media, graphics and wall decals. I'm always dabbling in different mediums. I love staying busy- mainly with my mind and hands. It's really a must with me. Even when I'm watching T.V, I have something in my hands, rather it's a project, or a book. I'm an avid reader and writer. You can find many of my articles all over the internet. I write mainly for ezines.com- ezines is a site where web owners can post articles from the writers on their site, as long as they leave the credit to the writer. I would like to start blogging on more of a regular basis- it would seem since I love to write, that blogging would just come second nature to me, and to tell you the truth, I don't understand why I don't do it more often. If it takes me all this year, I will learn how to utilize my time better (can you say that with me) lol

Owning an online store is very time consuming. Most people (including my own husband and family) still don't realize how much time and energy go into running a store. It's more time than an outside job, that's for sure. But I count my blessings everyday to be able to do something that I love and brings me in a little money.

My main store is Bonanzle: http://www.bonanzle.com/inspired
I not only have my creations here, but also list other items: dvds, books, clothes, etc... This is such a great site! It really is my favorite, and believe me, I have experience with many. Everyone is so friendly and will go over and beyond to help any way they can. The boys who run the place is the absolute best! They stay on top of it all and really care about what the members have to say- not only do they care, they actually listen to the members and put it into action. I believe that's why Bonanzle has grown so quickly so fast, and will continue to do so!

My main artisan only store is on Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/traceystreasures
This was my first artisan store and still my favorite "Artisan Only" store. I did take a break from it for almost a year, because if you're not careful fees can add up awfully fast, especially if you try to renew your items to keep them up front. Renewing was worth the money when Etsy was newer, but the day I renewed a piece of jewelry and found it only a short few minutes later already on page ten, I knew renewing often was only a waste of money. There's so many other ways to advertise- also, I believe if I'm going to advertise on etsy itself, the showcases are a much better way.

I also have an Ecrater store: http://www.intueys.ecrater.com/
This is also an 'everything' store. I don't have all of my products on this site yet, but have been adding them slowly. I sure can't complain, as Ecrater is totally free and has been since they opened their doors. I find that amazing! Ecrater also shows up in the search engines with no problems- which is a must!

My newest store is on Artfire: http://www.artfire.com/users/intuey
It's an artisan only store as well- but vintage, supplies and wall decals are allowed (as with etsy) which is nice. I joined it last year, but actually just started using the site, listing my items, etc... about two-and-a-half months ago. I joined as a pro. but went to basic this month. I will probably go pro again shortly. I'm new to this site, but I like the layout of the place. The owner seems really nice.

I'd love to have you visit any of my stores. I'm always happy to make custom orders. If you come via this blog, please let me know. Also, if you shop on Bonanzle, you can put in a coupon code, 'yay' and save 20% off your purchase! :)

Thanks for stopping by- I would love for you to 'follow' me. If you have anything you'd like me to write about, give me a shout-out! I'd be happy to do so.

Tracey

Posted by Tracey at 6:08 PM

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